Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
