Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
