I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
