It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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