you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
