So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
