How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
