I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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