all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
