i permit you to call me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize