is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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