The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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