I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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