Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
