okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I deserve this hangover.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
