When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I wish there were birth control emojis
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
