you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
