going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
