You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
