I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
