Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
