Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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