$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
