i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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