I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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