please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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