You're my little dorito
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
