sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
operation harelip BJ is a go
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
