I feel like abortions should bother me more
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
