I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
this hospital has no fireball
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize