if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
