Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize