She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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