we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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