It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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