i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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