I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
