If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize