i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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