Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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