i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
