i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
