sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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