where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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