Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
