Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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