i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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