Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
