to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
