ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
