She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can you bring me the toilet please
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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