i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
