ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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