I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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