Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
