Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
