I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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