Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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