Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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