just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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