She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
