What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
