Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
