Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
