Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
