she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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