if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize