They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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