You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Randomize
