I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
