meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
