this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
