I'm going to jail i love you
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
