also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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