Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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