i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
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