I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
