That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
