Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
why is half of my head shaved?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize