On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize