Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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