tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
