I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
